Mental health articles

Michael complained that his girlfriend Heather didn't prepare a birthday cake in his birthday, no gifts, even without a word "Happy birthday". So he thought thatHeather did not care about him, but he is not very clear that whether Heatherknow his birthday or not. Because he didn't communicate with her about hisdisappointment, as a result, two people breaking up. Before long Michaeldiscovered, something happened in Heather’s home, she is busy to go backhome to visit her ill relatives.

When men and women in intimate-relations

, one often make a test to the other one. For example, "I purposely didn't send text messages to her or give her a call, she will do it to me?" "If he saw me with another man what reaction he will have?" "If he know the bad things I have down in the past, he will still love me?" "If I want her to do something she didn't like to,will she agree?"

 

America clinical psychologist Greg Heisler says, the test of lovers is a psychological need, it often comes to mind when problems appear in relations. When you feel unsafe in your heart, afraid to be rejected or abandoned, for example, afraid of getting old and ugly, out of shape, at that time, the other doesn't love us. Then, we can recognize these concerns to the sweetheart, clearly put forward the hope to get each other's guarantee.

 

If you think the lover care about you and he/she will do this and that, the test started. Your unspoken line is that : "if you love me, you will……" This means that they have to do a series of things, to unilaterally pay for you and change, such as,seeing the other whether can remember your birthday and will do something. People like to act according to one's principles, but a set of their own but not necessarily conform to the principle of lovers. However, In fact, love can be a far cry from the principles of both sides.

 

Moreover, many people think that the telepathy between lovers is taken for granted, if he is genuine, he will instinctively know what you need. As a result, you don’t explain to your lover what you want. Unfortunately, without clearly inform ,the other really did not know it most time. Many couples didn’t know the other was making test to me even they broke up.

 

When you don't get the result you want , discover the lovers can't stand your test, you inner insecurity will further deteriorate, so more and more hate the other. The other side is also very angry, because they feel that no matter what I do, all can not satisfy you, deeply helpless and confused. Such a relationship from breaking up is not far away.

Tags: lovers