Mental health articles

Some form of outside support, help, or therapy is often needed for this process, and at various stages or times throughout the process. The support can come from a “companion”—a friend, a partner, f latmate, support group or enlightened relative—who can:

●share with us the difficulties of not getting the right sort of love;

●share the shock and horror of getting the wrong sort of love as a child;

●act as an “enlightened” witness to our own feelings of what we needed and did not get in that early situation, or from those people around us then;

●help us to re-parent ourselves, sometimes allowing us to get the support and attention that we need;

●direct others (as in psychodrama) to help us understand those old patterns and re-pattern them into a new dynamic. This type of support does not have to be from a therapist, but it does need to be someone, or a group of people, who have made this sort of journey themselves and who are essentially supportive of you embarking on this process. They should be able to set their own needs to one side and just “be there” for you. Support is often essential, just the support of someone being there for you as you struggle with all this, and how we grow best is with the right sort of support.

There are sometimes deep and powerful feelings within us, not just psychological, not just negative, but often connected with our bodies, our aches and pains, and our illnesses, that need to be expressed and affirmed after the many long years of being suppressed and withheld. This “letting out” needs to be done in a supportive context where there is no pushing, or fixed concepts, or theories that do not apply to us, but instead there is just acceptance, and permission to let these feelings out when it is right for us and in the way that is right for us.

Tags: feelings, support