Mental health articles

EFFECTS ON PARENTS AND SIBLINGS
A sense of control in the care of the infant seems to be crucial for the
development of the infant–parent relationship. Parents of a sick infant are trying to develop a relationship with their infant in an artificial situation, sharing the
care of their baby with strangers. It has been found that where the infant has
been at home in the care of the parents for at least two weeks in the first three months, mothers were more likely to visit their hospitalised infants every day in contrast to those who had not as yet taken their infants home (Lampe, Trause &
Kennell, 1977). Lampe and colleagues suggested that total care of the infant at home strengthened the relationship and the mother’s commitment to her infant.
If there are other children, the parents have the conflict of balancing time
with the sick infant or siblings who are with grandparents or some alternative
care. There is also the parent’s perception of the infant as a consequence of hospitalisation. Will the infant be perceived as fragile and thus over protected in
terms of exploration or in relationship with siblings and peers?
EXAMPLE: VIVIAN, ARI AND ESTHER
Vivian and Ari were the proud parents of Jacob, four, and Joshua, two, when
Esther was delivered at 30 weeks gestational age. The family was thrilled to have a beautiful daughter and sister. Neither Vivian nor Ari had family in the city where Esther was born. When they visited the hospital they had to use the occasional care at the hospital, visit on one of the days Jacob was at preschool and
take Joshua with them, or go independently and the other parent staying home with the boys. Occasionally a neighbour would help out but they could not leave the boys with a neighbour for too long. Vivian, in particular, was torn, longing to spend more time at the hospital with their daughter. Also, it was easier to express
the breastmilk there, it was calmer. She felt she was always on the go, rushing
from home or preschool to the hospital and back, desperately trying to be there for each of her children. She felt she and Ari were like ships in the night and that they
hadn’t had a proper conversation in days. Vivian thought that things might be better when Esther came home but was terrified of how she would care for her.
Vivian felt she only knew about boys, and robust healthy ones at that.
The relationship between the parents is placed under enormous strain with
the birth of an ill baby. The parents are hurting in numerous ways and may not be able to support each other. Unless there are supports for the parents, the relationship deteriorates with the risk of separation—an additional stress on their relationship with their infant (Mayes, Gabriel & Oberfield, 2002).
With the birth of twins or triplets it is not unusual for one infant to be sicker
than the other(s) and therefore to require longer hospitalisation. In this context, the infants develop their attachment to their parents at different rates. The relationship with the infant at home develops earlier.