Mental health articles

Children will generate jealous just as adults do. When they generate jealousy, what should the parents do and which psychological methods they can use to help children overcome jealous?

Here are some tips for overcoming jealous：

 Pay attention to their cues and show you sympathy

   The children have difficult in controlling emotions, while it is easy for the parents to observe the kid’s behavior and grasp the child’s emotion tendency. When the kid’s jealous outbreaks, their behavior will change, too. Such as sabotaging、crying、making rumors. The jealous will be reflected in the kid’s mentality and body sometimes like stomachache、sad、frets or without passion. Parents should show their sympathy and understanding and help the children to get the thins out of their chest when this happens. For example, when dad was playing swinging with sister while the little brother was crying by standing beside, mom can say:” look, it is unfair that  dad plays with you sister and left us alone, right?”  If the child agree with you, you can tell him that feeling is jealous. “I know you envies, right? But it’s noting.” parents’ understanding can appease the kid’s emotion. When this happens, the children need parents’ patience and affirmation to their feelings rather than meeting their appetence.

let the children know adults envy, too

Obviously, jealousy is a bad emotion, but we have to let the kids know that their parents will generate jealous sometimes. We can tell the kids that mom envies when dad was playing with baby, mom envies dad but she won’t get mad or sad because of this. You can also tell your kid that you have the same feeling just like him when you are in the same age with him. For example, when HuHu complains that he can’t join a kickboxing class like his brother, the mother told his child that she had.

Try not to take a child to contrast with the others the same experience when she was young, but such sentiments can be overcame. “You know? I was in grade school, I was never allowed to play in the street, and neighbor’s sister on the outside has been TiaopiJin until nightfall, how unfair it is!” This story make HuHu know mother is also jealous. Then the mother told that any child can get exactly the same treatment and the others, and therefore must learn to accept.

You might not pay attention to talk about the other children when an unintentional “Tingting is cuter” or just a smile, a shrug, or even lift the lift of the eyebrows may be read as comparison by the child. Especially when your child is doing bad in some ways they feel jealous of those who have the ability to do a good job .On one occasion, the mother of the MeiMei told an aunt, “the next door’s girl’s curly hair is cute but Unfortunately, her  daughter’s hair is straight. Unexpectedly, the next day, MeiMei requires the mother to bring her to go to the salon to make her hair curls! MeiMei’s mother realized her comment leads to daughter’s jealousy. Since then, she never evaluates her daughter’s hair, and never takes her daughter to contrast with other children for a meaningless comparison.

Do not over-emphasize the negative things

Children  shape their own behavior by observing the practice of adults , so when you find that the children feel jealous , don’t emphasis on the child’s position, and don’t accuse the object of envy, otherwise not only will further stimulate the child’s jealousy emotions, but also cause the child to develop a bad habit of blaming others. If your child find his classmate was invited to a Birthday Party while he hasn’t been invited. At this time we mustn’t accuse that birthday child, but should tell the child that I understand your grievances, but don’t be sad, everyone has different friends, it’s impossible to invite all the friends when you hold a birthday party, isn’t it? In this way, the child will know his uninvited isn’t due to unpopular, and then he won’t hate the boy.

Help children discover their own strengths

The children Lack of self-confidence always emphasize their weaknesses, and the kind of feeling of inferiority is easier to stimulate them envy psychological. Therefore, parents must help children build self-confidence, to let him know their own merits, but also promising the proud capital. If the child is gifted in painting, the parents should be a lot of encouragement. Whenever the children themselves to solve a problem or made a little progress, even if it is only an arithmetic problem, we should let him know that Mom and Dad to take note of, and proud for him. The experts pointed out that when children feel proud when they are more easily accept others get more attention than their own in some ways. This self-confidence not only can help children overcome their own jealousy psychological, more conducive to mold them self, this is truly worthy of envy the skills of others.

Help children to find a viable solution

Feel the jealous kids always want to get the same treatment and others, if the parents will be able to induce children to control their emotions, not only to ease the jealousy, but also help to build a child’s self-confidence and self-esteem. If children feel that the team is a teammate than playing a long time, we can ask him, if you strengthen the practice, the situation will not change it? In this case, the child will be found, although he can not control the selection of the coach, but they can control their own choice – to improve their skills by contacting the chance to play naturally. Or, when children feel jealous when others parental devoted attention, we should take action to eliminate child’s misunderstanding. 5-year-old in the United States and the United States missed their performances in the school play because my mother is very dissatisfied, “someone else’s mother!” So, my mother let the United States and the United States opened a special evening inside the home. As a result, the United States and the United States understand that the mother is actually very concerned about their own, they no longer disappointed or jealous of the other students.

Ways to help children overcome jealousy is more than these; parents look to the character of their children, using appropriate methods.

Tags: children, jealousy, overcome jealousy