Mental health articles

Sexual Impetus, Abstinence, and Virginity
Sexual activity may be used to individuate from parents or distinguish oneself
from community or religious norms. Some young people engage in sexual
behavior because they erroneously believe that their peers are behaving
similarly; others do so simply out of curiosity. Many use sex for emotional
regulation and may increase their risk for STI if they have multiple encounters
outside of a committed relationship or engage in risky sexual behaviors.
Th us, it is insuffi cient for a clinician to determine whether sex is occurring; the
meaning of sex must also be explored because of its implications for clinical
conceptualization and treatment.
Whereas some students elect abstinence simply because they feel developmentally
unprepared, others wish to suppress or contain sexual desires which
seem like a corrupting force. Infl uenced by religion and culture, they may see
virginity or total sexual abstinence as refl ecting moral and personal fortitude,
whereas relenting to sexual desires shames self, family, community, and
even ancestors. But social pressures—from peer expectations to media representations—
may leave abstainers feeling marginalized and isolated, and thus
willing to compromise their values by redefi ning or reinterpreting “sexual
behavior.” For example, to fi t in with peers or please a romantic partner, a
person may engage in various sexual behaviors while selectively ruling out
penile–vaginal intercourse, or choose sexual relations only if involved in a
loving and committed relationship.
It is therapeutic to clarify students’ defi nitions and assess their motives
and level of comfort with their sexual decisions. Even students who are secure
with their decisions profi t from discussing their costs and benefi ts. For those
who feel isolated, a therapist can help establish connections with similarly
minded students, such as those in campus religious or cultural groups, to
provide support and reduce anxiety.
It is always useful to assess knowledge about safer-sex practices, because
students may underestimate their risk of infection and pregnancy. Some selfidentifi
ed virgins believe that awareness of safer-sex practices is necessary only
for those who actively engage in penile–vaginal sex or are sexually “promiscuous.”
Yet, some of them engage in oral and anal sex without protection and
others impulsively have penile–vaginal intercourse without condoms, placing
themselves at risk. Indeed, a recent study found that teenagers who take a virginity
pledge are as likely to contract an STI as those who do not (Bruckner &
Bearman, 2005).