Mental health articles

A subtle form of avoidance is the problem of unassertiveness. Many depressed and anxious students outwardly engage in college life but retreat when it comes to expressing their opinions and feelings, asking for help, or saying no to unwanted requests. Perhaps praised as children for always being good or perfect or selfl ess (the exact constraints vary), now they fear that acting assertively will lead to abandonment or retaliation, or to their own out-of-control neediness or rage. Th erapists can help here by validating students’ rights and needs and encouraging, coaching, and modeling direct communications. Role-playing and homework assignments are also recommended: “What could you say to your mother next time she cuts you off ?” “How could you respond if she gets mad?” “Do you want to practice? I’ll play your mother dominating the conversation, and you politely but fi rmly tell me to please listen while you’re talking.” Like avoidance, unassertiveness tends to be deeply ingrained. But once students experiment with honest communications, they fi nd that it becomes easier to maintain.